Eyeliner
by Lihrah
Summary: An attempt to apply eyeliner, while having a conversation concerning the sexuality of a friend of both parties, and discovering said friend's attraction one party can only result in one thing: a drabble with no purpose other than to be. Shounenai hints.


"I'm not too sure about this."

"Don't worry. It'll be fine!"

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me!"

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that and not poke your eye out."

"Gee, thanks."

"Your welcome!"

"Tell me again how this is supposed to help me?"

"Well, _duurrr_. It's sexy."

"I don't want sexy! I want SCARY! Like, AAAARGH! RUN, HIDE, SOMETHING, IT'S GUNNA EEEEEEAT J0000000000000! Like Gaara."

"Honey, you can't be like Gaara. Gaara is Gaara. _Only_ Gaara can pull off Gaara successfully."

"One...two...You used Gaara 5 times."

"You can count!?"

"HEY! I'm not that stupid!"

"So you admit you are stupid then?"

"SHUT UP! THAT"S NOT WHAT I MEANT! QUIT TALKING LIKE SASUKE!"

"Sit still damnit! Do you want scribbles all over your face! And if I was Sasuke, I'd have called you a whole lot more names, Hn'd more than talked, and we'd be in the hospital, _again_. Although, if he _was_ doing this instead, it would support my theory even more."

"What theory?"

"Sasuke is gay."

"WHAT?!?! Where the hell did you come up with that from?!"

"I. Said. Sit. Still! Easy. He likes tomatoes. What normal straight guy likes tomatoes?"

"Ouch...You didn't have to hit so hard. But that's true. He does have a tomato fetish."

"If you sat still and let me do this right, I wouldn't have had to hit you at all. And on top of that, remember the outfit he wore to the chuunin exams?"

"You mean that weird black one-piece thing? Yeah, heh, Kiba said he looked like a fag."

"Kiba was right, but he shouldn't have used that word. And I swear he spends more time on his hair than I do."

"Yeah, last time I spent the night at his house, he did this whole routine with all these face wash things before going to bed."

"Seriously? No wonder he has such pretty, clear skin. I should ask him what product he uses. That's another point to my theory. And he keeps picking fights with these handsome guys. I'm positive they're just excuses to 'accidentally grope them!"

"EH!? For reals? But...Sasuke ALWAYS picks fights with me! Come to think of it, it's only been me he's fought for a while."

"Huh. You're right. I''ve just adjusted my theory to fit new evidence."

"What do you mean?"

"Sasuke is gay for you."

"WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?"

"Oh! You're done! Here, look in the mirror. I'm so talented!"

"Woah. I do look hot. GAH! That's not the point! WHAT MAKES YOU SAY SASUKE IS GAY FOR ME? I mean, We're always fighting! He always calls me an idiot and a deadlast and, and...and..."

"He fights you because of what I said before, it's an excuse to grope you. Hah! You're blushing! And he calls you those things because, well, it wouldn't be Sasuke if he didn't insult or ignore everything around him. And he just pays special attention to you. Maybe he likes to see you riled up? Oh my, now I have images. I must share this with Ino!"

"No! You won't! You can't! Sasuke doesn't like me, like -_that_! Your imagining things! It's not true, I tell you! It's not! Stop looking at me that way!"

"Swimming in denial can be very disastrous for one's health. Just admit it. Sasuke likes you. It's already obvious he's gay. And you're supposedly his 'best friend', aren't you?"

"Yeah, but...but...It's just weird...How would you feel if you found out Ino liked you that way?"

"Actually I wouldn't mind. Ino is hot. What's with that look? Anyway, I think you should go to him and tell him that you like him too."

"Wha-what? But..I never said -"

"I read your diary."

"WHAT!?"

"So are you gonna or should I do it for him? Or I could just show him the photocopies I made of the drawings in your diary. I never knew you were such a good artist.Did you know you look absolutely adorable when your blush?"

"Sh-shut up. This is bad enough as is. I can't believe you read that- _saw_ that. Gah I hate you..."

"If you go now and tell him, I'll give you all the copies I made. If not, I'll just send them around town. Remember, I know Ino. I have endless contacts."

"NO! Don't! I- I'll...tell him. Just- don't tell anyone else about this, _please_! I'll do anything!"

"Anything?"

"Why do I get the feeling I just handed over my soul to the devil?"

"Now now, I'm no devil. All I want in return for my silence is..."

"...what?"

"...DETAILS!"

"Eh?!"

"Details. Once you tell Sasuke, he'll be overjoyed and horny and there you will be looking all edible and sexy. Something's bound to happen, right? YOU have to tell me afterwards."

"Why am I surrounded by perverts? Is this some sort of punishment?"

"Hey! Don't rank me among the likes of Kakashi-sensei and that perverted teacher of yours!"

"Ah! I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me! I'll do as you say!"

"Good boy. Now run along and tell Sasuke. Then do whatever happens. Then run – or you'll probably be limping, won't you? - back here and fill me in!"

"You're really, really scary, you know that? I'm going..."

"Yes, actually, I do know. Take your time on the second part, by the way! Heehee, you really are so cute when you blush!"

"SHUT UP!"

Owari? I guess so.


End file.
